Jason Heppenstall

Around 2022, when people were still cavorting about in restaurants with masks, I went to Olive Garden with my husband and family. When I went to the bathroom, it got gross. Someone had projectile vomited all over the floor, sinks, and toilet stalls. The whole room reeked of barf. As is typical of casual American restaurants, there was no specialized department to take care of the mess, so a server (presumably one with a strong stomach) went in with disinfectant and mop to do the job. I overheard the servers talking about how it was the third time that week. I chalked up the episode as the predicament of the MRNA “vaccines”.

Considering my area was one of the most heavily compliant, with upwards of 90 percent opting to get the mystery jab, I figured the Olive Garden spewer was just another statistic in the sordid list of Pfizer/Moderna/Johnson side effects. I did not suspect Ozempic or its competitors at the time, although now in hindsight, the Olive Garden “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” barf mine maze may have been provided by a Big Pharma character I did not suspect at the time: Novo Nordisk.

Brought to you by monsters

Speaking of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes, I was last week years old when I found out GLP-1 drugs were “inspired” by the Gila monster, a prehistoric relic that eats all of once or twice per year. Novo Nordisk presumably tortured many of these animals to death in the grand style of Anthony Fauci’s sand fly/beagle experiment in order to isolate the elusive substance. They were first in line to develop hunger-suppressing semaglutide drugs and quickly outpaced Pfizer as the most profitable drug company in human history.

The Gila monster’s venom contains a substance known as exendin-4, which slows down digestion and increases insulin. When the Gila monster deigns to put food in its stomach, it subsists on stolen eggs from birds and other reptiles, baby rats, baby chicks, and carrion. In other words, the Gila monster is the OG System ghoul in lizard form, devouring fetuses and infants when it is not relishing in corpseflesh a la Jimmy Savile. David Icke is probably having a field day.

Novo Nordisk’s semaglutide debut, Ozempic, quickly overtook the sketchy MRNA products as the real injection to end all injections. GLP-1 drugs revolutionized the diet scene by making patients uninterested in food. If a patient slipped into old habits and indulged in her old favorite neverending pasta bowl at Olive Garden, that Shrimp Carbonara was highly likely to end up all over the toilet and sinks as revenge for eating it, along with copious amounts of neverending salad and bread sticks.

Strap in, because this is nowhere near the last time I will mention abuse

GLP-1 drugs were born to be abused. I first heard of Ozempic because the Kardashians were rumored to be using it along with the removal of their butt implants. They were not using it for its so-called intended purpose, which is ostensibly to manage diabetes. Even the diabetics for whom GLP-1s are prescribed abuse them. One type II diabetic I know by proxy brags that he can now drink all of the sugary soda he wants because he is on Ozempic. His blood sugar levels remain within the window of normal despite the fact he guzzles carbonated corn syrup like it is water.

There was never even a question celebrities would abuse GLP-1 drugs. As the vainest and most entitled people on the planet, they would never pass up an injection that offered “free” weight loss, even if this led to shortages¹ of the drug for the people for whom it was ostensibly designed. Furthermore, I believe we are seeing GLP-1 abuse among those who need it the least: anorexics. I am not making any allegations here, but if I was the betting sort, I would put money on all three out of three of the current visibly anorexic Wick(ED) movie superstars abusing Ozempic. Yes, I am going to discuss Ariana Grande in a minute.

Ally goddamn McBeal

Back when Ariana Grande was only four years old in 1997, a dry, desiccated turd emerged from the bowels of Fox in the form of a television series called Ally McBeal. Ally McBeal (1997-2002) was mostly a vehicle for the fetishization of 1990s anorexic It Girl Calista Flockhart, a human lollipop who scored Harrison Ford as a fiancée and later spouse. Though Calista Flockhart is nearly unknown now, her pouty face and Defend Your Castle body were plastered all over the turn of the millennium. Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal was a lawyer in a male-dominated profession who narrated a riff track to her own life, including her fantasies. Ally’s fantasy life was explored through cheesy special effects, including a three foot long tongue and an annoying dancing baby that represented her biological clock. Ally McBeal’s brand of sardonic, wisecracking, cooler-than-thou comedy obviously did not appeal to me but it was an extremely popular show at the time.

The cringe of Ally McBeal was sadly not limited to special effects. Nearly every single female character on the show looked visibly emaciated. Rumors flew that the women of Ally McBeal were embroiled in a competition to see who could lose the most weight. The stars were said to have treadmills in their dressing rooms. According to blinds, they ate as few as 150 calories per day, abusing laxatives if an upcoming scene required a state of undress. Portia DeRossi, who was involved with Ellen DeGeneres but did not wed her until 2004, suffered organ failure in the year 2000 after dropping to 82 pounds (37kg). Portia DeRossi is 5’8” tall.

To this day, Calista Flockhart denies any role she has played in the mental poisoning of the women surrounding Ally McBeal or the generations who watched it. Flockhart claims that she is naturally thin. Perhaps she is gaslighting us and perhaps she is not. When we look at who is to blame, it is convenient to point fingers at the bobble-headed It Girl. We all know who was truly at fault for the anorexic zeal of Ally McBeal: the show’s producers. David E. Kelley, the ex-lawyer who was also behind L.A. Law and Doogie Howser, M.D., co-produced the show with Bill D’Elia. Without the consent of Kelley (who has been married to über-skinny Michelle Pfeiffer since the 1990s) there could have been no mass exportation of the Ally McBeal image.

Hide your kids from Wicked: For Good

If I had children, I would either forbid or heartily dissuade them from viewing Wicked: For Good. Before I go any further, I would like to place the mantle of blame for the anorexia these films promoted and inspired upon each show’s respective producers and directors. The newest Wicked film, which is a sequel to the Wizard of Oz spinoff musical Wicked that was popular in the 1990s, features Ariana Grande as Good Witch Galinda and Cynthia Erivo (a race-swapped Bad Witch Elphaba) as its main characters.

No iteration of the Wizard of Oz has been free of anorexic torture and Wicked I and II are no exception. In the original Wizard of Oz movie, Judy Garland, once a robust show kid, was coerced into dieting and drugging herself down to a weight in which she never thrived. In the 1978 adaptation of L. Frank Baum’s books, the Wiz, singer Diana Ross battled with anorexia nervosa that coincided with an extreme amount of stress allegedly put on to her via her MoTown producer, Barry Gordy. Wicked I and II do not have a Dorothy character to torment, so the emaciation banner has been passed to not one, not two, but three separate lead characters in the film: Michelle Yeoh, Cynthia Erivo, and Ariana Grande.

All formerly healthy-looking stars have wasted away over the last half decade of Wicked film production. Michelle Yeoh, a former action star, looks like she could squeeze into a paper towel tube if no clothing was available. I’m guessing this state of affairs is a matter of demented pride for her at 63 years old. She went from Flying Tiger, Hidden Dragon to Starving Greyhound, Hidden Agenda.

Cynthia Erivo has a beautiful, heavily awarded voice, and she deserves vocal awards. Though I refuse to see Wicked: For Good at this point, I saw the first Wicked film not too long ago and Erivo actually out-sang Ariana Grande from my point of view. She has pipes. Unfortunately, Wicked has also been Erivo’s demise into emaciation, with the formerly svelte looking actress looking like a bag of bones with press on nails. Yeoh and Erivo look as if they might return from the Land of the Dead once Wicked reaches the bargain DVD bin at Walmart. Ariana Grande does not.

The Ariana Grande death pool

I’m not the only one who thinks that Ariana Grande looks as if she is at death’s door. Recently, rumors circulated that the singer/actress had died, and considering how skeletal she has become. Though the rumors were part of a hoax, it is telling that nobody would be surprised if the Grande keeled over.

It is entirely possible that Grande was never mentally healthy, not even once in her life. Now in her mid-thirties, she is breaking down in real time, the wages of three plus decades of pretending to be above it all dragging her to the bowels of hell. As I have said in the past, Grande has all the markers of a CIA Monarch bot who has been trained from infancy to be pliant. I am not alleging her parents abused or sold her, but I would not be shocked if such revelations came to light.

Many speculate that Ariana Grande has been anorexic for a long time. There was an old Tumblr account attributed to Ariana Grande during her Nickelodeon/Sam & Cat era, and it was full of weight loss flexes such as Ariana bragging about eating a single dragonfruit in an entire busy day and copious photos of Grande in Disappearing Princess mode. Thigh gaps, or selfies that displayed the natural space between a woman’s thighs when she reaches a certain level of thinness, were all the rage. Beyonce became obsessed with Photoshopping herself as a thinner person with thigh gaps. A woman calling herself Felice Fawn became a thinspiration superstar, launching untold numbers of young women into lifelong careers as anorectics.

Ariana Grande’s long sojourn as an actress and pop star have been chock full of nods to anorexia. She was about as subtle about anorexia in her pre-Wicked career as she was about being sexually active. As a kid, accused-pedophile creep Dan Schneider had her sticking her fingers down her throat in a Sam & Cat episode where she “explored her uvula”. The impression the scene gives (this is a show for kids, mind you) is that Dan is getting off on her adolescent bulimia. I guess children’s feet are not the only things he was into.

I think Grande was always anorexic and possibly bulimic, and the evidence for this is rife not only in that old Tumblr account (which may or may not have been Grande herself) but in her music videos. Side to Side, one of her many tacky, heavily blaccented songs from the 2010s, features Grande on an exercise bike, as if she needs it. Her other videos are populated with self-checking as Grande tests various surfaces to see how tiny she looks in comparison to them. Grande was known for wanting to be carried everywhere she went in 2014. A supposed Life & Style magazine insider reported, “Her new rule is that she has to be carried, literally carried like a baby when she doesn’t feel like walking. She says that she doesn’t want her precious feet to hit the floor.”

I don’t think it was about her feet. It was about her micro-weight and her desire to infantilize herself. Ariana Grande wants to vanish. She wants to become a baby: minuscule and beloved.

Mortify the flesh

A shocking number of canonized saints, all women, were anorexic. Women have been starving themselves for a long time. Saint Catherine of Siena (1347-1380) used to gag herself with sticks and tree branches when she was forced to eat. Marie of Oignies (1177-1213) survived for years on only the consecrated bread of the host. She preferred to eat it when the crust was so hard, it would make her mouth bleed. A common theme we see with anorexics, whether of the nervosa or mirabilis variety, is the desire to inflict pain upon themselves. Any given anorexic is a sadist and a masochist wrapped up in one. Starvation becomes addiction.

The obese starve in their own way too, and they are also sadists and masochists balled up in the same, fractured psyche. Both anorexia and obesity are disorders of dependency. The obese person wants to stop overeating, but at some point, it becomes hardwired into the system. Severe anorexia is even less reversible. Anorexics who are too far gone cannot start eating normally again even if they want to. Those who claw their way out and legitimately recover often die anyway. Caroline Knapp, author of the anorexic memoir Appetites: Why Women Want, died at age 42 after beating anorexia and alcoholism.

Karen Carpenter seems to have legitimately tried to get better. She lived with her psychotherapist Steven Levenkron for a period and she got a little traction in the time she spent with him, going from 79 pounds to nearly 100. Wanting to get back to work on singing, she left Levenkron’s care before she was truly done and most likely relapsed into purging and laxative abuse. Carpenter admitted taking up to 90 laxative pills at a time in order to stay thin. Laxatives, starvation, and purging had taken their toll. She died at age 33 of a heart attack, cutting her brilliant music career off in one fell swoop.

I will be discussing in future articles about how I feel anorexia and obesity are two sides of the same coin, with the substance of the coin being a failure to be grateful. As much as I can already see the chronically bored outrage trolls coming for me with “You’re blaming the victim!” and “Patriarchy!” I truly do see eating disorders as diseases of entitlement, which makes them especially dangerous when they are foisted upon the young and naive, who cannot see them for what they truly are. Shame on those who promote ED culture and its fetishes, and I do mean EVERYONE who engages in it, and shame on the producers of mainstream media who would market that trash to anyone at all.

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